This is the End, Beautiful Friend

GonnaDie

Happy last day on Earth! A Christian broadcaster who apparently lives a few towns over from me has predicted that today is the end of the world.

As reported by The Guardian, McCann believes there is a “strong likelihood” that the world will end on this date, but he added there’s an “unlikely possibility” that it will not.

At any rate, Armageddon seems to have had no effect on the eBible Fellowship’s broadcast plans – even on Thursday, the bible readings and discussions are planned to continue as normal, according to their online schedule.

Unlikely possibility, eh? The fact that the schedule continues past the doomsday date suggests a pretty high level of uncertainty. I’m not exactly impressed by that degree of commitment.

For all the doomsdays I’ve survived—easily three or four dozen by this time in my life—I can be sure of one of two things: people who believe there’s a mysterious overlord in the sky planning to zap us into oblivion have terrible prognosticating and/or analytical skills, or that we’re all absolutely unkillable. Granted, today’s not over, but I like my odds of surviving to pay my electric bill another day.

Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that McCann is right. We’re all gonna die today. It’s a little bit depressing that I’ll be spending my last hours at work. If I knew—I mean, absolutely for sure knew—that today was it, my co-workers would have to do without me. I’d grab my husband and hop a plane to a place I’ve never been before, someplace exciting and beautiful, and wait for the end while drinking wine and laughing.

The end oseekingforafriendfortheendoftheworldf the world is popular-ish in films, so it’s interesting to see how things play out in the imagination of others. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) has lots of rioting, lots of sex and drugs, lots of nostalgia. Then there’s Last Night (1998), which is kind of the same, but with more suicide. It’s not quite as popular in novels. I mean, yeah, for a while there you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a dystopian or post-apocalyptic novel, but the world as we know it ending and the actual world ending are too different things. It’s hard to kill all your characters—a lot of readers aren’t down with that.

So today is the end of the world. How are you spending your last days?

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